the stars
ROXIE ANDERSON
The Wallet. The Landlord. The Hand. Roxie may think she’s in charge, but The Mental Felts know better—she’s the flesh-and-blood inconvenience they put up with to keep the lights on. She funds their chaos, gives them a place to exist, and in return? They humor her delusions of authority. If she ever forgets her place, don’t worry—The Mental Felts are more than happy to remind her who the real stars are.
FANNY GIRL
The human embodiment of an excited squeal, Fanny Girl lives for all things pop culture. Whether she’s geeking out over Star Wars or gushing over fictional romances, her enthusiasm is downright contagious. Pure of heart and full of wonder, she believes in true love, happy endings, and the power of a well-placed movie reference. She’s here to remind you that life is magical—and if you don’t see it, she’ll explain it to you in great detail.
RUGGLES
Rockabilly heartthrob. Mysterious dreamboat. Absolute menace. Ruggles is the kind of guy who makes you swoon and roll your eyes, sometimes at the same time. He’s got a rebel’s charm, a brooding silence that makes the girls melt, and a wardrobe that Elvis himself would envy. He confidently believes he is the one for everyone—but especially for Roxie. As a liberal, plus-size-lovin’ rockabilly dream boy, he’s convinced she just needs to submit to his undeniable charm.
KOURTESS-ANN
Some girls flirt. Some tease. And some? Some know exactly what they want and how to get it.
Kourtess Ann is not the kind of woman who plays hard to get—she’s the kind who watches you trip over yourself trying to impress her. She’s honey-dripped sin, wrapped in rope, and tied with a bow—if you can handle it. Sensual, smart, and completely unapologetic, she believes in true love, true pleasure, and true submission—because when it’s done right, giving in is the ultimate power move.
And that voice? Oh, sweetheart… it could make a grown man beg.
MAGPIE
Existing somewhere between this world and the next (but still showing up when there’s tea to be spilled), MagPie is a cosmic enigma. Mysterious, soulful, and just a little loopy, she spends her days reading tarot, singing in her signature sultry tone, and offering wisdom that may or may not make sense. Even when she’s completely lost in the stars, she somehow always knows exactly what’s going on. Spooky.
LILY:
THE ROCKCOVERY TRAUMA FAIRY
Once a full-time trauma fairy, Lily is now fully embracing her Rockcovery era. She’s endured more than any puppet ever should, wears her messy healing journey like a badge of honor, and is trying to be a better version of herself. Some days she nails it. Other days… well, trauma is a tricky thing. She’s a little dark, a little chaotic, and still figuring it out, but make no mistake—this fairy will fly. It might not always be graceful, but it’ll be real.
FRANKIE SCRIBES
A smooth-talking phantom of the written word, and Roxie’s most trusted creative confidant. He doesn’t just listen to her ideas—he elevates them. While others fumble to keep up with her brilliance, Frankie understands. Every word, every joke, every unspoken thought—he catches them all, turning them into something greater. He’s the kind of partner who doesn’t just stand beside a woman like Roxie—he helps her build an empire.
the cameo crew
MARGUERITE DANTÈS
The ultimate diva. Marguerite doesn’t just sing opera—she owns it. A walking, talking (loudly singing) testament to her own greatness, she graces the world with her presence, though she’s certain it doesn’t deserve her. And yet—the injustice!—she has been relegated to the ‘Cameo Crew,’ a title so beneath her that she refuses to acknowledge it. What she fails to understand is that her ongoing operatic trills—often performed at all hours, with no warning—have left the other puppets teetering on the edge. If she keeps this up, The Mental Felts are going to have to change their name to The Fully Unhinged.
HELL SYNCHY
Hell Synchy is the ghost of bad decisions past, floating through Roxie’s life with an eerie sense of timing and a smirk that says he knows things. He’s all about synchronicity, whispering sweet nothings that just so happen to line up with real-life events in ways that make you question reality. He’s charming, mischievous, and just unsettling enough to make you wonder if he planned it all. Spoiler: he probably did.
PANDORINI
Pandorini made one critical error: she opened the toy box. Now, she’s stuck managing a felt-fueled circus of chaos, shenanigans, and way too many big personalities. With a sharp Russian accent and an even sharper tongue, she’s all business, all the time—at least in theory. The puppets refuse to make her job easy, but she’s determined to whip them into shape… even if she’s losing her mind in the process. Honestly? She should have left the box shut.
DONNA PASTRIES
Donna Pastries is the tough-love Italian mama you never asked for but absolutely need. She’ll tell you to lose weight while simultaneously shoving a plate of cannolis at you—because love is complicated. Fiercely devoted, hilariously dramatic, and just a little overbearing, Donna will remind you daily that you’re the reason for her suffering. But don’t worry, she’ll still feed you.
SAILOR: THE SWEARING DOG
If the other puppets won’t say it, Sailor definitely will. His ‘barking’ is just a convenient way to censor the absolute filth he’s spewing, and he doesn’t care who hears it. Foul-mouthed, feisty, and completely unbothered, this dog’s got no filter and zero regrets. Someone has to say the things that need to be said, and Sailor is more than happy to do it.
BERT
Bert may not say much, but somehow, he still manages to send chills down everyone's spine. A ventriloquist doll with a barely moving mouth, his eerie stillness makes every word he does utter feel ten times more dramatic. He rarely makes an appearance, but when he does, it’s just long enough to make everyone uncomfortable—except Fanny Girl, who finds him absolutely fascinating. The others aren’t so sure. Is he mysterious, or just mildly cursed? The jury’s still out. Meanwhile, Synchy is convinced Bert’s body would make the perfect ghostly vessel, which Bert seems disturbingly unbothered by.
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